To be a virgin means (apparently) to be someone who has not had sexual intercourse, whereas losing your virginity would mean you have had sex. For females, in particular, virginity is portrayed as something that ought to be protected and if you lose it, you become tainted and less pure. For a man, however, it’s considered to be masculine to ‘take’ someone’s virginity, and men are often ridiculed and emasculated for still being a virgin above the age of eighteen.Here’s why the whole concept of virginity is stupid.
The definition of sex which is suggested to young people through situations such as sex education lessons is:
“Penis in vagina, done.”
That definition is not inclusive of people who are transgender, asexual, bisexual, homosexual, pansexual and so on. Not every female has a vagina and not every man has a penis. Not every man with a penis wants a woman with a vagina, and not every woman with a vagina wants a man with a penis. Some people don’t want any form of genitals coming into contact with their’s at any point, and all of these things are totally fine. Does this mean that there’s a huge percentage of the population that are incapable of losing their virginity because there’s not a penis and vagina collision included? This whole idea of virginity completely invalidates all of these different gender identities and sexualities. Having sex could just be described as giving or receiving pleasure via genitals, but really it’s up to everybody individually to decide what counts as sex for them. Having sex is a personal individual experience that society cannot dictate for you.
Virginity isn’t real and is not something to lose, give away, or take from anyone. It’s perfectly fine to want to wait to have sex with someone you care about. Alternatively, it’s also completely fine for you to not place much importance on having sex.
Don’t shame people for losing or keeping their virginity, and don’t pressure people to do anything in particular with their sex lives. It’s always, always, up to you.